Lately, I haven’t wanted to pray. Not even my five-minute, super-short version. I haven’t wanted to journal either, which is another way I connect to God. I’ve not wanted to do yoga, which is yet another. Haven’t been doing so much crafting the Bible, or reading my BCP on weekends. I haven’t wanted to do …
The WHO bacon scare and a theology of enjoyment: for Think Christian
Last week, the World Health Organization (WHO) tried to take our bacon away. Or at least that’s how some news organizations first interpreted the announcement that processed meats have been classified as carcinogenic to humans. The real news was less dire, only announcing that the evidence confirms a link between colorectal cancer and certain eating habits (such as eating two …
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Surrendering to Communion for The Mudroom
“Asking is, at its core, a collaboration.” Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking It only took nine unsubscribes to undo me. I use some software to manage the subscribers to my blog, and if there’s activity—people signing up (yay!) people un-signing up (sigh!), I get an email. Lately, I have been sighing more than normal. …
It is a gift to know a suffering God: One Woman’s Yes with Tanya Marlow
Tanya Marlow is another Mudroom and SheLoves contributor, and she writes bracingly about suffering, theology, and faith. She’s also bedridden most of the time. I’m grateful for her voice, and her experience, because she’s both honest about how sucky her disease is, and also fiercely wise about what God teaches her through it. She makes me …
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Easy faith is Jesus-powered
I take pride in my honesty. In my therapy sessions, I don’t flinch when my therapist questions my motives. People often remark on my honest writing. It doesn’t bother me to tell my unadorned story to complete strangers. But sometimes I lie. Here’s how: Someone I love asks me to do something. I know it …
Easy faith is authentic faith
Back when I was doing quiet times for a half-hour every day in college, I would put off starting as long as possible. Sometimes, that meant I procrastinated until the next day, and when I’d open my notebook, the shame of my indifference towards God and His Word sickened my stomach. Not that long ago, I …
When You Don’t Have a Peaceful Heart
I find rest in Esther Emery’s words–partially because I can see something of my anxious childhood in hers, partially because she has chosen to be different in a world that loves same, and also because she’s a friend of the virtual-but-real sort. I bring you her words here today with relish. I love her take …
The Day I Regretted Writing for SheLoves—at SheLoves Magazine
The first time SheLoves Magazine accepted a post I’d written, I wondered if I’d made a mistake submitting it at all. Don’t get me wrong; I was proud of the essay. I’d also been reading SheLoves for a few months by then, impressed with their writers and their global outlook. SheLoves seemed like a good fit for my writing—if they’d take …
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Easy faith is good news ALL THE TIME
(Note: occasionally I curse. This is one of those times. Here’s why.) I want to be careful with this series. I’m worried it might get chirpy on you. “Just depend on Jay-sus!” “God is good all the time!” “Can I get an Ay-men?” I mean, those things are true. Except sometimes, their cheerfulness makes you want to …
What I Wish I’d Known About Friendship After College
The night before I left college, I got home late. There, at my door, I found a wrapped package: a graduation gift from Stacy, one of my closest friends from church. She’d finished and framed an exquisite cross-stitch of one of my favorite verses. The sight made my heart sink. I’d missed saying goodbye. The …
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Are you willing to listen to the darkness? for The Mudroom
I used to have a kind of waking nightmare. It started in college. I’d be alone in the dorm bathroom, my toiletry caddy in hand, going down the aisle of shower stalls, their white plastic curtains like ghosts’ hems, all in a row. All of a sudden, the dread of what lay behind those curtains …
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Easy faith is just faith
It feels odd to talk about easy yokes and JUSTICE together. Shouldn’t we affirm the warm, fuzzies first? Jesus will love you no matter what, that he’s a friend, a Father, a Mother, a Spirit, an everything? Oh, all that is true. But I will be honest: I don’t think there’s warm fuzzies without justice. I don’t think …
Simplify things and point your face towards the sun
Today, we’re talking more about tools for a faith that’s easy—really easy. Last week we discussed questions, attention and emptiness. This week: simplicity and delight. Simplicity I feel passionate about ading the discrimination against Latinos in my town, and breaking down walls between us in church. But I have not thrown myself into doing something. …
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Questioning and Paying Attention Lead Us to an Easy Yoke
When you have done all you could in faith, and realized that doing is a problem— What do you do next? How do you get out of that catch-22? How do you let go without just giving up? I’m going to do a series for a while here about how to find an easy yoke …
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Asking Questions Out Loud is Women’s Work
“Can you tell me what this verse means?” Ellen asked. She glanced at her Bible and read, “Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.” She looked up at the pulpit, where our pastor, a prematurely gray-haired man, stood during the …
The Night I Almost Stopped Being a Christian: for The Mudroom
The night I almost stopped being a Christian anymore, I sat alone, at midnight, in the living room of the house I shared with three other women. I was twenty-two, almost six months out of college, depressed, and despairing. I’d discovered I was depressed in my therapist’s office the summer before. The revelation was like a pin …
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Please Do Not Touch Me–for SheLoves Magazine
“Rub the Buddha belly, Rylee,” my older sister, Katie, said to her daughter. Rylee smiled up at me and gingerly put her hand on the crest of my pregnant abdomen. She moved it back and forth, with a hesitant, irritating judder. I smiled, but had to grit my teeth to not swat her hand away. …
Being a good girl hamstrung my calling
The email slipped into my inbox with no fanfare a few years ago. A name I didn’t recognize, a cryptic subject. Curious, I opened it, but it took me a minute to figure out what the woman who sent it was asking. Basically: I like your work. Have you ever thought of publishing a book? …
When my body betrays me
The other day, I rolled out my dusty purple yoga mat in my bedroom, and stood at one end, ready to launch into my usual fifteen minute yoga routine. On a whim, I thought, why not set an intention for this practice? This is unusual. Generally, I don’t bother with intentions or thoughtfulness. I often …
Faith at Every Size
My old friend Michelle came over not that long ago. She’s blonde, with streaks of aqua blue through her short cut. Ever since I first met her, I’ve admired her confidence in who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Also, she’s fat. I would not have used that word for her …
My child, my backpack, and the long days of motherhood
When my daughter Lucy was three, I decided to get intentional about her education. I wanted to homeschool long-term, but knew I was not an ideal candidate: I like quiet, order, and long-range projects. I also felt a little cuckoo stuck at home. With 18 hours a day to kill, I counted the days until fifth …
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Why Does Twitter Terrify Me? for The Mudroom
Let’s start out with a confession: Twitter terrifies me. I got my handle a few years ago. The day my friend Melissa explained to me how she manages her twitter account, makes lists, what she posts, and what a hashtag is, my heart thudded in my chest, dully as I listened. It’ll get easier, I …
Deciding you’re an outsider—and deciding you’re not
My sister Katie, and I were talking about social anxiety recently—something we both struggle with a lot. “My therapist said I always automatically assume I’m an outsider,” she said. “I hold myself away from people and assume I’m on the outside of what they’re doing. And she said that attitude is a choice, and I can …
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Dirty is human: #wordmadeart
This post might offend some people—especially at the beginning. Bear with me and read the whole thing, and then see if you are still offended. This week’s project is getting a page of an old Bible dirty. I knew it would make me nervous. I did not expect it to make me cry. The easy part was deciding where …