I was embarrassed when my neighbors knocked on the door. I wasn’t sure if I’d combed my hair that morning, and I was wearing ratty pants and an stained camisole. But what really embarrassed me were the paintings on the floor inside. I opened the door. “Sorry, the girls are gone,” I told Matt and his …
Beyond safety nets to Shalom
I took a public speaking class in college, where we tried all kind of speeches: occasional speeches, debates, educational lectures. Having done a lot of theater as a kid, the class wasn’t that scary. Until the extemporaneous speech. We pulled a topic out of a bag, had one minute to plan, and then gave a five-minute …
Unschool part 4: passion will surprise you
In high school, I hated studying Spanish grammar. Hated. (No really, with a passion.) I did not want to memorize whether muchedumbre was masculine or feminine. I did not want to make flashcards of verb endings. I found grammar both tedious and unintelligible. Then two years ago, I started trying to get back my Spanish …
Brain, Child: Relieving myself
So I’m honored to have an old essay of mine up on Brain, Child‘s website today. It’s an amazing magazine that helps me process my journey through motherhood with wit, insight, and just the tiniest bit of irony. First off, go subscribe NOW. This magazine is such an antidote to our culture’s narrative of parenthood. Not …
The Hospitality of Greetings
The instructions for passing the peace are pretty clear—and even written in the bulletin: un saludo cordial, mirando a los ojos. Which means, “a cordial greeting, looking into each others eyes.” My first time at the Spanish-language service at my church, I thought I understood those instructions. I stood up and shook hands with the …
What happens when I panic
I wanted to believe I wouldn’t panic. I started a writing project with a lot of anticipation and excitement. I felt oddly optimistic. I had reasonable expectations, was excited to try something new, and felt thankful for the habits of mind (journaling, weekly prayer with a friend, writing habits, and breath prayer) that have helped …
Dream your wildest dream: One Woman’s Yes with Kathy Khang
A few months ago, I wrote a post that quoted Kathy Khang: ““But to find your voice can be dangerous because you have to choose things and take risks and speak.” Then I waxed poetic about her bravery, amazed that she might find it hard to use her voice. Kathy was kind enough to stop …
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The Danger of Losing Purpose When We Hustle
Note: This post is for ALL people who care for others: kids, the elderly, students, whatever. And by no means am I saying that everyone should homeschool. You do you, no matter what. If you don’t know what unschooling is, go here. To see all posts in this series, go here. Caminante, son tus huellas …
The Insanely Productive Habit of Being Gentle with Yourself
I have a morning habit that grounds me and strengthens me every day. I look forward to it, and depend on it to give me some equilibrium. I manage to make it a priority, no matter what. What is it? It’s reading advice columns while I drink a cup of tea. You thought I was …
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“I have to know who I am.” One Woman’s Yes with Sarah Bessey
I took Sarah Bessey’s little yellow firecracker of a book, Jesus Feminist, to worship a few months ago, hoping someone in my (not terribly conservative) church would ask me about it. Because Jesus Feminist is a book you want to have conversations about–a book that’s inviting, and warm, and a bold call for all of us …
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Yes Is a Heart-Stopping, Unpredictable, Wonderful Adventure
Lately, the phrase “yes, and” has been going through my head. It comes from a class I took once on plotting a work of fiction. The main character has a question waiting to be answered. At a critical juncture, they get an answer— But it’s not a safe, predictable solution. Instead, it moves them further into their …
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What I want from the church: the impossible
I want the entire church to look down at its body and realize that large parts of it are missing. I want the church to cry out in anguish as it realizes its chronic, degenerative disease: the tender parts that were dishonored, cut off, ignored, mistreated. I want it to start caring—now! for the parts …
The Big Picture vs. the Details
Off and on, I’ve been trying to draw from nature. Leaves. Fruit. Weird seed pods. Also, trees. Can I just say that drawing a tree is one of the most frustrating things ever? How do you draw the whole thing? The branches, the leaves, the canopy? When you look at a tree, you see a …
Caution: “Following Your Dreams” Brings Resistance
But to find your voice can be dangerous because you have to choose things and take risks and speak. Kathy Khang, Morethanservingtea.com Let’s get real for a second. All of this “follow your dreams” stuff looks really easy on paper. “Own your voice,” I chirp like Mary Poppins. “Write down your goals, and pursue them! The …
If your dreams terrify you, read this.
A year and a half ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to a Simple Mom post. “I read this and thought you would like it. But maybe not!” she said. She knew me too well. I opened the post, and my heart sank. “I wrote a five-year plan,” the title said. “And …
I am a Jesus feminist because…
Calling myself a feminist keeps me honest. **** One of the biggest culture shocks I ever experienced (yes, it rivaled South America) was going to the Bible Belt for college at a small, secular university. When I visited the school before enrolling, I discovered that the broader campus culture was almost a reaction against the …
The unsettling, empowering and surprising journey to community: One Woman’s Yes with Osheta Moore
I was lucky enough to stumble upon Osheta Moore’s blog right about the time she started blogging about finding her tribe. I especially loved this little gem on the diversity and unity in the body of Christ as discovered in an apple orchard. I wanted to talk to her about two big yeses in her …
Happy Thanksaction Day
In Spanish, “Thanksgiving” is literally Thanksaction: Acción de gracias. I like how spirited that sounds. And today, I’m asking you to truly celebrate una acción de gracias. Please, contact your local Congressional representative, and ask them to do what they can to bring immigration reform to the House floor. Please. I attended Spanish-language church …
To Succeed, Change What’s Not Working
A friend of mine just made a schedule for her week to help her accomplish some goals. I was impressed by the calendar taped to her fridge. “Yeah, she said. “But now we’ll see if I’ll actually stick to it.” Have you ever thought this? Made a new list of goals, and thought, Now the …
You just do it
I was twenty when I got to see Anne Lamott speak. I wore a beanie, and clutched her new book, Travelling Mercies, hoping to get it signed. I had devoured several of her books at that point: Bird By Bird, which talks about basic writing tools, and her fiction, especially her earliest novel, drawn from …
What I learned from talking to activists…nervously
When I started asking social justice activists questions, I thought I’d feel awful when I compared myself to them. If I talked with people who were walking the walk of serving the poor, of crossing cultural boundaries, of standing in the face of exploitation, of preaching reconciliation, I would be reminded over, and over at how …
Better Questions Than “Am I Good Enough?”
“I’m waiting for us to get there,” my four-year-old told me. We were on the way to her second gymnastics class, the cars on the freeway breezing by us, the sky blue and adorned with soft wisps of clouds. We’d been in the car about two minutes. “I hear you, honey,” I told her from …
Are you having a hard time handling parenthood—or life?
I struggle to handle both too. And then I read a post that made me start to wonder about why, exactly, I need to “handle” these things at all. At first, I really wanted to hate the post. “F&^% Ina May,” the title said. As someone who had two home births, who thinks natural birth can be …
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Finding Creativity in Community
When I was a new mom, a friend said something I’ve been mulling over ever since. “People over projects,” she said. We are both writers; she was speaking about finding work/life balance in the midst of the parenting storm. Projects were important, sure. Projects were great. But people needed to come first. I nodded. There in …